Rebuilding trust in a marriage is rarely a linear process. The realization that their partner has shut down or is considering separation is a crisis moment. For Dennis St John Crosby, CEO and Founder of Authentic Man, this crisis also represents an opportunity. With years of experience coaching men through relationship challenges, Crosby has identified the patterns that erode trust, and the deliberate actions that can restore it.
Understanding the Root of Trust
Trust, Crosby explains, is not lost in a single moment. It erodes gradually through repeated disappointments, unmet expectations, or inconsistencies. “She wants to trust you,” he says. “She’s just been burned so many times that she can’t bring herself to do it anymore.” For Crosby, helping men recognize this reality is the first step. It shifts the focus from blaming circumstances to taking ownership of change. As both a serial entrepreneur and marriage coach, Crosby draws on his own experiences of failure and growth to underline the importance of integrity. His work emphasizes that men must not only repair immediate damage but also create a sustainable foundation of trust that can endure beyond the crisis.
Proactivity as a Signal of Care
One of Crosby’s key principles is the role of proactivity. Many of his clients respond reactively when conflict arises, scrambling to address the issues their partner has voiced. While this effort is better than avoidance, it rarely instills lasting confidence. “What really shows that you care, that you’ve changed, that she can trust you, is when you can start meeting her needs that she’s not even sharing with you,” Crosby notes. This may mean recognizing when a partner is overwhelmed at work and preparing dinner without being asked, or handling responsibilities before they become stressors. Proactivity, he argues, communicates thoughtfulness, foresight, and genuine care, all of which are crucial for rebuilding credibility.
Consistency Builds Reliability
Another cornerstone of Crosby’s approach is consistency. “One of the biggest things plaguing men today is our relationship with our word,” he reflects. “As men, our word should be as good as gold.” When a partner can rely on commitments being honored, their mental burden decreases. This reliability frees them from constant worry and opens emotional space for deeper connection. Crosby acknowledges that no one can be perfect, but he emphasizes that the standard men set for themselves must be higher than what it has been. In his view, consistency is not about avoiding mistakes altogether but about cultivating a dependable reputation that reassures a partner that promises will be kept.
A Vision Beyond the Crisis
Drawing on his extensive experience working with men in crisis, Crosby emphasizes that true transformation comes when men look beyond short-term reconciliation and set a higher vision for their marriage. “If your only focus is getting your wife to open back up, you’ll drop your efforts as soon as things improve a little,” he warns. This yo-yo effect risks leading to repeated cycles of disconnection. Instead, Crosby urges men to pursue long-term goals that transcend the immediate crisis. These could include breaking patterns of generational divorce or modeling a healthy relationship for children. “Have something you want so deeply,” he says, “that you would crawl through broken glass to go have.” Such a vision, he believes, not only sustains motivation but also inspires men to create marriages that are resilient, fulfilling, and admired by others.
A Bridge Between Who Men Are and Who They Can Be
Crosby’s work through Authentic Man reflects a broader mission: helping men bridge the gap between their current struggles and their potential for growth. With a background in building and scaling businesses, he understands the challenges of aligning ambition with action. His coaching applies the same principles of vision, accountability, and resilience that drive successful enterprises, but with a deeply personal focus on relationships.
For men facing the despair of a fractured marriage, Crosby offers both a strategy and a source of hope. “Either way, go get your marriage back.”
To learn more about Dennis St John Crosby’s work at Authentic Man, visit his website or follow him on social media on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn.
